judyweise.html

My page for Judy Weise

I think of Judy in terms of what she didn't do. She didn't judge, she didn't blame, she didn't sweat, she didn't hurry.

She had a dry wit and was quite direct and open - but kind and generous by nature.

I wish I had words to describe her life. It was always full, in steady motion. There was a constant exchange between a wealth and great generosity of cultures, tastes, beauty, thought. With Judy I became more educated - not in her areas of academic expertise ( I don't know a word of middle english), but in developing my own. She facilitated the growth of people around her.

I am well aware of the hardships she had in life - she had remarkably bad luck in medical care for example - but mentally I can't ever place her in a victim role. She was particularly heroic. I think she would enjoy that characterization of her - she would be able to provide models from academic texts.

She taught me how to cook meat, how to drive and how to belch and how to use the word "fart". She turned me on to Chatauqua and diet root beer and I turned her on to John Barth and angelwing begonias. I think of her when I make coffee, drive a car, sort clothes, tend plants, visit a museum, read a satisfying novel, cook a roast, pet a dog, ride a ferry.

On April 20, as I was going through my college alumni newsletter, I learned that she died last September. How close a friend could she have been? The last time we were in each other's company, we were watching OJ Simpson's bronco chase live on the late night news. I didn't send out Christmas cards to anybody this year and didn't get one from Judy, but that was no big deal... we missed a year now and then. Her cards were always pretty neat... I have a die-cut snowflake from her on my mantel right now. Judy was the kind of person who kept her friends over time and she had a large number of them from many walks of life.

I got to know her when I worked as an aid at a daycare center (before I went back to complete my degree). Her son was a terror at three. She hired me as a household helper and nurse shortly after her leg was ampu tated. She had lupus was treated with steroids and developed terrible bedsores and resulting gangrene. After her operation, a piece of bone was left in her leg to fester until she extracted it herself. She had cataract surgery and heard the doctor say "oh shit" when he sliced out a piece of her iris. I think that's when she stopped going to downstate doctors and started going to Burlington Vermont for medical care. During her first year after her lupus diagnosis and despite all her medical difficulties, she earned tenure at the State University. She was an expert at Chaucer and Beaowolf(sp)? - stuff I know nothing about - and could converse in Middle English. She took her walker to archeological digs in Denmark and Iceland (and picked up the languages for the trips). I think she did some teaching in Bulgaria in recent years.

Her house always contained someone who came from another country. Her own mother had been involved in AFS, and her legacy is a memorial fund to aid students from other countries. In her correspondence, she was always referring to some new person whose name usually ended in -ar, someone she was surrogate mothering while they were far from home.

Even though I wasn't in close contact with her, she was a big part of my life and I will miss her and treasure my vivid memories of her. I know there are many others who feel the way I do. I can only fantasize what a great and interesting party it would be if we all could get together.

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